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politics + booze = awesome!

The Official 2004 Presidential Debate Drinking Game

By David Martin
Published in the Chicago Tribune
September 29, 2004

Let's face it. The presidential debates are a nuisance (note from nora: i disagree with this). But for whatever reason, most television networks feel obliged to carry them.

So stop your whining and make the best of a bad situation with the Official 2004 Presidential Debate Drinking Game. All you have to do is line up your favorite beverage and pick a candidate. Then let the game begin:

- Every time President Bush says the word "safer," take a drink. If he uses the word "democracy" in the same sentence, make it a double.

- For every John Kerry reference to the UN, have a drink.

- If Bush uses the phrase "compassionate conservative," you must chug your entire beverage.

- Take one drink for every three times Kerry points with his left hand.

- Any previously recorded Bushism, like "misunderestimate" or "subliminable," used by the president during the debate requires one drink.

- If Kerry exceeds the time limit for any response, take a drink.

- Back-to-back offenses require a double shot and a NoDoz.

A reference by your candidate to any of the following requires one drink:

1) Florida

2) North Korea

3) Axis of evil

4) Saddam Hussein

5) The American people

- And for an exciting twist on the game, anytime anybody mentions the word "Vietnam," everybody has to take a drink.

In this game, everyone's a winner. At worst, you'll reach the end of the debate experiencing a warm, pleasant buzz. But if you're really lucky, you'll pass out by 10 o'clock and won't have to listen to the closing statements. Cheers!

tonight, tonight...

"when we were kids we wanted to make a band that combined the mystical lyrics of Dio and Iron Maiden with the experimentation of Viovod"

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