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i got 99 vmas and the darkness have none

vma observations:

- The only way this show could have been good would have been to kick off with Britney and Kevin's Wedding. Instead we got J-LO in an ugly hat. Yawning alread...
- Hoobastank's lead singer may have nice abdominals but he CANNOT HOLD A NOTE and that is just embarassing. Pointing the microphone at the audience every time you have to hit a high note doesn't fool anyone either.
- Beyonce stole Dolly Parton's hair.
- JoJo (WHO?) stole Lindsay Lohan's face?
- Yeah, Usher, we get it. Yeah. Now please stop being on camera every two seconds.
- That Jay-Z video is amazing.
- Alicia Keys + Stevie Wonder = AWESOMENESS. But does everyone who performs with Stevie Wonder have to wear big dark glasses? Is this a requirement? It's not like he would know if you didn't...
- Christina Aguilera + Nelly + the 1920s = HUH? Where the hell did this come from?
- Where did Lenny Kravitz's girl-hair go?
- Bruce Willis, no matter what you do, your daughters will not think you are cooler than Ashton. I'm sorry. Keeping leaning back...
- I can't believe Modest Mouse and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs lost to godawful YELLOWCARD.
- And I love the Olsen twins. And I hate Jessica Simpson trying to be Robbie Williams and croaking a lot. Everytime she sang "catch me right before I hit the ground" I kind of wanted her to fall of that giant "wedding swing"
- Are Britney and Kevin in the house? Did he bring his raggedy children with him? Are they wearing matching do-rags? What gives!
- Actually, I think MTV managed to wrangle 10-15 actual famous people to come, and then that JoJo girl, and then a bunch of random people from a club in Miami who have coordinated dances to everything, love whatever music is playing no matter what the genre, and also carry around random props like giant pictures of Usher's eyeball. They couldn't even get Maroon 5 to come to this show.
- Polyphonic Spree busted out the colored robes! It's kind of like a Skittles commercial gone wrong. I'm sorry... I just don't get it.
- Wayne Coyne saves the entire show while in a bubble. I love this man.
- The best video game soundtrack is the lamest thing ever. Next year it will be "best cellphone ringtone," "best song played over an ipod commercial" or "best song as performed or featured on an episode of The OC." who cares???
- oh wow. Outkast won the big award. I've never seen that before.

sex costs 7 dollars tonight

relaxing with moose